Ugh… I pulled this postcard out of my mailbox this morning.
One glance at the headline and I knew it was the perfect example of a common advertising mistake: leading with price instead of benefit.
I read the “Personal Price” headline… crumbled the card… and was just about to toss it when I thought, “Hey, why not turn this into a quick copywriting lesson from my book Cashvertising?”
She might be a wonderful agent.* Well-meaning. Good-hearted. But she’s using the entire front of her postcard to sell… uh… an expense.
Look at the headline:
“Let’s create a Personal Price Plan just for you.”
That’s not the way to entice readers to flip the postcard and see what you’re offering.
All it really communicates is one thing:
There’s a price to pay.
No good.
You never start with price.
You start with benefit.
The State Farm logo reinforces the troubling issue by revealing the product before the benefit.
Now the card is clearly about two things:
1) Insurance
2) You’re going to pay for it
Ugh.
Flip the card over and you’ll see the benefit she should have led with:
“Save around $740 a year on auto insurance.”
“Around.”
Ugh.
Still, anyone hoping to save money on car insurance might want to learn more… if only she had led with that claim instead of the whole “Personal Price” nonsense.
And this mistake isn’t unique to insurance agents. It happens in almost every industry.
Here are examples I see all the time online:
MORTGAGES
Before:
“Apply for a personalized mortgage quote.”
After:
“Own your home for less than your current rent.”
The first sells paperwork. The second sells the dream.
DENTISTRY
Before:
“Schedule a comprehensive dental consultation.”
After:
“Get the bright, confident smile people notice first.”
Nobody wants a consultation. They want the result.
FITNESS
Before:
“Join our 12-week training program.”
After:
“Lose 15 pounds and feel stronger in 90 days.”
People don’t buy programs. They buy transformation.
SOFTWARE
Before:
“Try our project management platform.”
After:
“Finish projects faster without endless emails.”
No one wants software. They want fewer headaches.
FINANCIAL ADVISORS
Before:
“Book a retirement planning session.”
After:
“Make sure your money lasts as long as you do.”
See the pattern?
The weak versions describe the process. The strong versions describe the payoff.
Advertising that leads with process feels like work. Ads that lead with benefits feel like relief.
Most businesses actually have strong benefits. They just BURY them under polite, professional language no one notices.
Which is why so much advertising gets ignored.
People don’t respond to services.
They respond to results.
So the next time you write an ad… a landing page… a postcard… or even a subject line…
Ask yourself:
Am I selling the cost… or the payoff?
Because the moment readers sense benefit, curiosity kicks in.
And curiosity is what gets the card flipped… the copy read… and the sale made.
(*Name & identifying details removed.)